Anxiety

225718_253112734701752_4593376_n

There are times I feel I’m floating
there are times I feel I’ll drown as
life’s current keeps on pushing some
times upstream sometimes down while I
choke on murky water as fear presses in
around until calm flows in and settles
when I touch the solid ground then I’m
lifted up and rushing somewhere down
the stream once more reaching for
something to cling to brushing
past the peaceful shore faster
I am being carried torment drags
me out to sea and I’m trying not
struggle as the pain envelops me so in
stillness I surrender sinking to the
depths below and I see that light is
waning as much further down I go
and as hope reaches the bottom
I push up with all my might
through the darkness that’s
subsiding thinking I may
be alright gasping as I
break the surface fill
my lungs and I exhale
just in time to be
sucked under stretch
ing out to no avail
then a hand comes
out of nowhere
from the one
who heard
my plea I
leave all
I’ve known
behind
me reach
for Him
and I
am
f
r
e
e

Advertisements

The Journey of You

1001659_589403451081918_1815348475_nSlow down, my dear,

don’t be in such a rush.

Stay a little longer as a child.

Just yesterday I held you,

now your hand is on the door.

Tomorrow you will be off running wild.

 

 

To my daughter:

May you always know I’ll be here when you need me, and may God bless you more than you could ever dream.

The Journey of You

A blink ago my star was born.

DSCN0271

At one you held my heart.

1

At two you were my little light.

2

At three a work of art.

3

I took a breath and you were four.

4

Exhaled and you were five.

5

At six I couldn’t love you more.

6

Then seven had arrived.

7

I turned around and you were eight.

8

Turned back and you were nine.

9

At ten you were my silly girl.

10

Eleven you did fine.

11

Age twelve had come and gone again.

12

And So did age thirteen.

13

At fourteen you were tomboy.

14

At Fifteen a beauty queen.

15

Sixteen is almost over now.

564713_507819772573620_1606740237_n

And seventeen is here.

17

When I blink again you might be gone.

972306_601713696517560_1678746930_n

And that’s my greatest fear.

The Simple Truth

Image

“My oh my,” said the spider to the fly,

“Look who’s in my web, you sweet delicious.”

“I sit and quake,” cried mouse to rattlesnake,

“For I know you to be very cold and vicious.”

Such is the world we’re living in,

One moment, you might win…

The next could find you sleeping with the fishes.

Though the thought may cause despair,

It is neither here nor there.

Immortality…

Is only found in wishes.

50 Wishes

Image

Everyone has been asked that eternal question by now, “What would you do with 3 wishes?”

Well, I started thinking…why 3? Where did we get 3 from? Is it some standard that we’ve set based on childhood tales of genies popping out of lamps and fairies rescued from unspeakable dangers? Is 3 some magic number that, if we were to surpass it, would cause us to burst into flame, or worse; be imprisoned for life only to suffer endless torment at the hands of some unseen wish warden?

Maybe we’ve just trained our brains not to think past this miniscule number, or maybe, just maybe, most of us feel that we wouldn’t be deserving of any more wishes than that based on a history of past transgressions?

Whatever the case, I’ve decided to think outside of the 3 sided box. How many wishes would I really limit myself to?  I think I’d shoot for 50…that seems like a good, solid number to me, how about you? What would you do with 50 wishes? Here’s my list:

Wish List

If I had 3 wishes…but wait, why stop there?
To limit my wishes just seems so unfair.

I do believe fifty would be much more just,
‘Cause too many things are a definite must.

Before I give in to my personal greed,
I’d like to help out all the people in need.

I’d wish food for the hungry, homes for the poor,
Clean water on every impoverished shore.

Some shoes for the orphans, and widows alike;
That weary man walking, well, he needs a bike.

Love for the lonely; a partner, a mate,
Love for each other; abolish all hate.

A world without stealing, or murder, or crime,
And people that care more than some of the time.

Now me, I would like my own laundry fairy,
Then I’d want legs that would never grow hairy.

I’ll need a few dollars; ten mill would be nice,
Then maybe some diamonds, ‘cause girls love their ice.

I’d want a fit body, and then beyond that,
I’d wish for some thighs that would never get fat.

I’d like to be crowned Miss America, please,
And have a new bladder that withstands a sneeze.

Strumming songs on the guitar might be quite grand,
While singing lead vocals in some famous band.

I wouldn’t mind being a big movie star,
But please wax my brows or I won’t make it far.

My own Private Island would suit me just fine,
And then, some new sports cars, at least eight or nine.

I would like a tiger, no; how ‘bout a zoo?
To staff it, please send me the finest zoo crew.

I’d wish for a mansion with twelve maids to clean;
A garden out back full of plants lush and green.

A whole room of nothing but bath tissue rolls;
Make them all thick so there’s no chance of holes.

A twelve seater hot tub would be pretty cool,
For after a dip in my new swimming pool.

And create a soda that never goes flat,
To sip by that pool in my new floppy hat.

I’d like a masseuse on call at any time;
And a waiter to serve me spritzers with lime.

My own chef to cook me the tastiest food,
Please join me for lunch; wouldn’t want to be rude.

I’ll take a tiara that sparkles and shines,
To wear while I’m drinking the priciest wines.

A thousand new shoes, and then without a doubt;
The finest silk stockings that never wear out.

Please send me an eighty foot yacht, on the double,
along with a Captain or I’ll be in trouble.

A pilot to chauffer my own private jet,
And take me to places I haven’t seen yet.

A vacay to Candy Land’s shores would be swell,
For chocolates as big as the liberty bell.

An opal in silver, an emerald in gold,
A ruby in platinum would never get old.

I’d wish for some sapphires, the deepest of blue,
Then if the mood strikes me, I might wish for YOU!

Dear Monday…Go Step On A Lego

135397085_1363656302

As I lay here and think about the mountain of laundry threatening to devour my tiny 3 bedroom condo in a fashion that might make Cookie Monster Proud– a combination of 5 kids and a 4 day holiday weekend -I slide just a little bit deeper under the covers.

Monday is back. Again. I keep taking antibiotics, but it keeps recurring. I’ll probably have to see a specialist.

“Should I consider getting up at all today?” I ask myself.  A fly just peeked around the corner at me and said, “girl, don’t…you don’t even know the horrors that await you.” Well that’s encouraging. I think I’ll take the fly’s words to heart and burrow deeper into my cocoon of laziness. Maybe even pull the covers up over my head.

Monday should just be removed from the English language, or at the very least, be one of those words that need to be censored on TV. Along with exercise, panties (seriously, people, they’re underwear), and honkey-tonk. I think it might be illegal to say Monday out loud in several states. I’ll have to do some research into the matter.

I can smell my daughter’s nuisance of a pet rabbit from across the house. Another result of the lazy 4 day weekend. She’s out of town for the rest of the month visiting family, and the rest of the thundering herd have scattered to various places around town, because, well…it’s summer. This makes Ray Darr my problem. Great. Add that to the long list of things that are making me want to get out of bed and face this bad word of a day.
P1090607

I suppose it could be worse. I could have one of those… what do they call them? Oh– jobs. You know, the kind where you have to get up at 7 a.m. and do a 45 minute commute to spend the day in some stuffy cubicle, or at some check-out counter interacting with people of questionable hygiene.  No thank you, I’ll stick to my housewifely duties.

I don’t want to see what the rest of this place looks like. The things these kids can do to a bathroom alone would make Freddy Krueger blush.

I guess I’ll put on my brave face, hike up my big girl…underwear…and get this over with. I’m admittedly terrified. I have Sandy here, though. Sandy makes the day’s prospects just a little less frightening. She’s a great support team. She’s the best vacuum cleaner a girl could ever have.

Alright. Here’s goes nothing. As I depart, I’ll leave you with a few poetic words about this disease of a day. Enjoy.

Monday

It’s Monday again, and just to be clear
The prospect alone makes me tremble with fear.

Sunday was great, I napped until four
Woke up, watched a movie, and then napped some more.

The weekend, it seems, flies by way too fast
I’d like to go back to the day before last.

But it’s Monday, again, and comes with a cost.
Let’s skip it for Tuesday. Dear Monday, get lost.

Because I said so.

why_because_i_said_so_retro_housewife_print-r63c4b89907e143538141b9e11e40fdb6_wv9_8byvr_512

With a life resume boasting several years of parenting experience, I’ve come to realize that kids will try to get out of anything and everything. As a matter of fact, mine tend to be so lazy that I worry about having to oil their joints from lack of use like the Tin Man in Oz.

I believe that by now I’ve heard it all. Every excuse and creatively artistic form of backtalk ever to grace the English language, all rehearsed and re-scripted into some applause worthy performances.

When I happen to collide with The Great Wall of Whining, the one that’s built out of “why’s” and “how come’s” and “do I have to’s” that stretches higher and wider than the eye can see, I’ll sometimes start to offer up reasons for the requests that I make, until I suddenly realize…hey, wait a minute…you’re mom. You don’t have to explain yourself. There should only ever be 4 little words given in response to the resistance you’re met with after making requests and giving commands…

Because I Said So.

Though you think that you do
I know what’s best for you
…because I said so.

Want a car? Get a job
Please don’t eat like a slob
…because I said so.

Close the door, kill the light
Please be kind and don’t fight
…because I said so.

You should take out the trash
Please stop asking for cash
…because I said so.

Okay, I’ve had enough
Please just pick up your stuff
…because I said so.

Tie your shoe, you might trip
Please don’t give me more lip
…because I said so.

Have your tail home by nine
Please don’t lose that, it’s mine
…because I said so

When you’re 18, you’re free
‘Til then, listen to me
Why?

…BECAUSE I SAID SO!

When I look in the mirror, I…

When I look in the mirror, I see…

A road well-traveled in the lines and the creases…
A woman who’s often left picking up pieces…
A mother, a lover, a boss, and a fighter…
Eyes that could shine just a little bit brighter…
A world that keeps moving completely too fast…
The do’s and the don’ts of the days that have passed…
The knowledge and wisdom of 38 years…
A triumph, a heart break, and traces of tears…
A marathon runner in life’s little races…
A freckle or two in the strangest of places…
The woman that’s always been free to be me…
And some eyebrows in need of some TLC…

My response to Daily Writing Prompt: Mirror Mirror