Dear Monday…Go Step On A Lego


As I lay here and think about the mountain of laundry threatening to devour my tiny 3 bedroom condo in a fashion that might make Cookie Monster Proud– a combination of 5 kids and a 4 day holiday weekend -I slide just a little bit deeper under the covers.

Monday is back. Again. I keep taking antibiotics, but it keeps recurring. I’ll probably have to see a specialist.

“Should I consider getting up at all today?” I ask myself.  A fly just peeked around the corner at me and said, “girl, don’t…you don’t even know the horrors that await you.” Well that’s encouraging. I think I’ll take the fly’s words to heart and burrow deeper into my cocoon of laziness. Maybe even pull the covers up over my head.

Monday should just be removed from the English language, or at the very least, be one of those words that need to be censored on TV. Along with exercise, panties (seriously, people, they’re underwear), and honkey-tonk. I think it might be illegal to say Monday out loud in several states. I’ll have to do some research into the matter.

I can smell my daughter’s nuisance of a pet rabbit from across the house. Another result of the lazy 4 day weekend. She’s out of town for the rest of the month visiting family, and the rest of the thundering herd have scattered to various places around town, because, well…it’s summer. This makes Ray Darr my problem. Great. Add that to the long list of things that are making me want to get out of bed and face this bad word of a day.

I suppose it could be worse. I could have one of those… what do they call them? Oh– jobs. You know, the kind where you have to get up at 7 a.m. and do a 45 minute commute to spend the day in some stuffy cubicle, or at some check-out counter interacting with people of questionable hygiene.  No thank you, I’ll stick to my housewifely duties.

I don’t want to see what the rest of this place looks like. The things these kids can do to a bathroom alone would make Freddy Krueger blush.

I guess I’ll put on my brave face, hike up my big girl…underwear…and get this over with. I’m admittedly terrified. I have Sandy here, though. Sandy makes the day’s prospects just a little less frightening. She’s a great support team. She’s the best vacuum cleaner a girl could ever have.

Alright. Here’s goes nothing. As I depart, I’ll leave you with a few poetic words about this disease of a day. Enjoy.


It’s Monday again, and just to be clear
The prospect alone makes me tremble with fear.

Sunday was great, I napped until four
Woke up, watched a movie, and then napped some more.

The weekend, it seems, flies by way too fast
I’d like to go back to the day before last.

But it’s Monday, again, and comes with a cost.
Let’s skip it for Tuesday. Dear Monday, get lost.

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